Adventures in Subtlety: Turkeyville - Post 7

Ok! So, sorry I haven’t blogged in a while – my internet’s been shotty again.  Alright… I have about five days worth of notes, so bear with me. 

1.        So I have the words “Nick” and “butt” written down on a scrap of paper, and I’m not even going to pretend I have any idea what either of them mean, so…. Oops.

2.       So whatever day I have these one notes for, was clearly not an interesting day.  I only have a couple things down, the main one being that my boss was interviewed by some fishing show – at least that’s what it looked like based on the getup the interviewer was wearing.  So that was funny watching her bs how great we are. 

3.       Alright, so Saturday was Emily Hency’s last day – moment of silence – so that was terribly sad.. I went to her open house on Sunday with Rachel and made her card entirely composed of pictures of One Direction and wrote her a heartfelt letter.  Her open house was fun, but awkward, like most open houses hahaha.   She introduced me to her one friend that I girl crushed on… She introduced us by saying, “umm…let’s see… you’re both Louis girls!” and we shared a knowing look haha.  Afterwards, we went to Turkyville to get ice cream from Emily – my cousin – and then we went down to the restaurant and one of my cowokers informed me that Weston quit!  #HALLELUJAHPRAISESAMEN. Unfortunately, as I was celebrating he walked out.  Mi mal.    So yeah.  God is good.

4.       I next worked Monday and I worked with Morgan and Kaitlyn, two pretty great corowkrers. The main moral of that day is that I got a loooottt of free food hahaha.  I worked 10-9 and ended up getting two free pieces of pie, two free tacos, and cookies haha.  Also, I had a reuben burger at lunch and it was prime.  Turkeyville makes good burgers. 

5.       At one point on Monday Morgan went to clear a table that was completely obliterated and she came up and said “so I think I have AIDs.”  Apparently on this tables was also bandaids and new bandages and bloody napkins…. Who just leaves that there for the waitstaff to clean up?!  #comeonnow #ew #germs #commonsense #hygiene #kendhashtagrent

6.       On the way home on Monday a car with a Quebec license plate passes me and I thought of Sam haha.

7.       Ok so Wednesday was pretty interesting I guess.  So one of the first things that happened was Nick – formally known as an alias of “Mick” (The one who stared at my boobs)– was rounding the corner to go into the kitchen right as I was doing the same but to go up front and we about collided.  We both stopped and instrad of passing each other and moving on, he poked me in the cheek.  What even.  I don’t even know with that kid.  Later that day, he was coming up from the freezer and he put his hand straight out – idk I thought to high five me or something – and I had two beer bottles in my hands, so I didn’t do anything, so he puts his hand on my face.  WHYYYYYYYYYY !!!!.  I don’t get this kid.   He’s probably going into his junior year or something too of high school.  #stahp. 

8.       So then, Mel – British Melanie who’s great – comes in and we exchanged pleasantries and then she goes “you’re always laughing.  Whenever I see you, you’re always laughing.  It’s a good thing though, in case anyone’s having a bad day or anything.”  Which that made me happy.  Because in high school people frequently told me that I was always smiling and looked so happy, and I had just hoped that I hadn’t lost that happiness over this past year, so wooh for happiness J

9.       Then at one point there were these ginger twin girls and they were just the cutest thing.  They were really polite and good kids and it was really cute –despite the hair. 

10.   Ok so later that night, one of my coworkers was talking about bringing a hooker home for her boyfriend bc she didn’t feel like sleeping with him….. #awkward So then my other coworker was like “that’s when you just roll over and pretend to sleep.” And she was like “that doesn’t work”  And the other goes “what does he do? Rape you?” And she was like “No….” hahahahha Then she ran her hand up the other girl and asked if that was he did to her haha…. And then they just went on about their sex lives and I left the conversation haha.  #funtimes

11.   Ok, so I worked Thursday from 11-4, but a good amount of things happened in that five hour period.  First, a lady from my (old) church and her three kids came in, and we talked, so that was nice.  They were sitting outside and after they were outside for a little while, Brayden, her three year old opened the door and he was peeking in.  I made a silly face at him and he did it back and it was just about the cutest thing ever.  #ReasonsILoveKids

12.   So then these two guys came through and the black guy sees his friend’s noodle dinner come out and he goes “Sheesh!! That looks good!” And it basically made my day, bc sheesh. 

13.   Later, I was talking to my manager and a coworker – who’s the owner’s older sister – and I look down through the dining room and I see Elizabeth and Julie!! (My sister’s old best friend that got married the day after school ended).  Which, Julie works in the bakery at Turkeyville, so I get to see her a lot, so Elizabeth came to visit on Julie’s break. So they got a gouda and reuben – good choices – and then later Elizabeth came back and we talked for a while, so that was really nice because I haven’t seen her since the wedding.  Also, my friend Emily Hency is a loooootttt like Elizabeth, which Rachel always said, but I never really got until I came back to work and had seen Elizabeth again.  So, sadly, Elizabeth didn’t get to meet her twin, but I got to talk to her about her haha.

14.   So my manager, Jolene, was saying how she’s never made no-bakes because she always thought bad moms made them because they didn’t know how to bake… To which I was all like “Dude!  The best moms make no-bakes!!”  And she goes “No!!! Wait… did you just call me dude?”  hahaha so that’s the story of the time I called my manager dude. 

15.   Near the end of my shift this sketchy lookin guy came in wondering about his booth for the upcoming flea market.  Then he looked at the pies and goes “your peanut butter pie is to die for.”  (Which it is) “I’m addicted to peanut butter!!” So, moral of the story:  I found Ben a new best friend.  After that he was talking to Vicki about his spot and he goes “well.. I just want to make sure it’s close to parking because I’ve got my mom…well now she’s my aunt… with me and she’s about 180 years old and doesn’t get around well” hahahahahaha WhAt??? 

16.   Also, these straight-to-the-point couple of people came in and the lady had on one of those shirts with wolves all across the front that those women who nurse their children until they’re five then let them run around without clothes on wear.  Ya know, the one’s that then encourage them to pick out their own names, yet good hygiene is usually not mandatory (baths are weekly, teeth brushing is monthly).  Anyways, she was wearing one of those shirts.  So on the order ticket, I put “dances with wolves”.  Ryan, the crew leader of the kitchen was laughing as I walked past and goes “Dance with wolves??” So, I made Ryan laugh, which is a goal of mine, so wooh.  Unfortunately, they paid with a card, meaning they could see the name I put their order as.  #oops. 

17.   Well.  That’s about it.  Sorry for the length. Currently, I’m on my way up to Mackinaw, so YAY! J Have a marvelous weekend!

18.   Oh, and at one point yesterday I was bored and in the corner just singing one of Ed’s new songs and I was walking past the window into kitchen and Brenden – Vicki’s grandson who’s really nice – was standing there and could probably hear me.  #sorrybud

19.   K! That’s it!! Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Adventures in Subtlety: Turkeyville - Post 6 (Civil War Reenactment Weekend)

Hello, all. =) I trust that you're all doing splendidly. Well, this weekend - Father's Day weekend - is exciting at the magical land of Turkeyville.  You see, they have the Battle of Turkeyville this weekend.  A gigantic civil war reenactment ensues with many many many a person fully decked out in civil war attire.  They have camps set up in the field and they sleep there every night the whole weekend.  It's quite the shindig.  So I worked 10-9 today.  I was only supposed to work until 7, but a coworker called in with poison ivy, so yay I got to stay haha.  We get paid by the hour though, and I was working with Emily Hency, so I was okay with it. Okay, so run down of cool things that happened.
1. A troop of boy scouts came in right away.  And later I saw one that was ginger.  And it was hilarious.  Because boycouts.
2. I was on register the whole day - I sold almost $5,000!!! - and as I was ringing someone up, I glanced up and realized it was Abe Lincoln.  Seriously was SO dead on.  Very very very convincing.  I almost told him his face looked pretty good, all things considered, but figured that was insensitive. 
3. A Canadian came through and he showed me Canadian money and it was purple and like holographic and awesome and didn't look real.  Then we talked about Canada and I told him we all talk about Canada a lot.  That's funny.  A Canadian was participating in a civil war reenactment.  Huh.  hahaha oh well. 
4. So at the end of the day, I was doing dishes with my home girl, Emily Hency and we were talking about if one direction worked at turkeyville and where each boy would be.  We decided that Liam would work in the kitchen and be kind of like Jaden.... Who is who my doucheyness overpowers attractiveness tweet was about.  Harry would work in the bakery for obvious reasons.  Niall would work in the ice cream parlor bc of how sweet and adorable he is.  Louis would be like Amy, a boss of ours, because he's basically exactly like Amy: sarcastic, hilarious, great, over everybody's crap, etc.  Also, Louis doesn't do work.  Which, Amy always works with us, but she's also a boss.  Therefore, Louis is Amy. I don't think we determined where Zayn would be... Zayn would probably be in Restaurant.. But... He's really reserved, so.... idk. He doesn't really fit in anywhere there.  No position is good enough for him haha.
5. Also, at one point Jaden was talking about all of his hickeys, lifting up his shirt and everything to point them out - hence the doucheyness.  So I was back talking to Emily and we were talking about giving names to the different girls who gave them to him.  Then Ronna was like "What are you talking about?  Naming Jaden's hickeys?"  And we decided to name them Desperate.  All of them.  Then we discussed how sad we were for these poor girls for thinking he was a good idea and how bad of a state of mind they must be in.  hahaha... yup.  Then when we were washing dishes Emily hit herself and she goes "oh! It looks like I have a hickey!  Oh wait!! Maybe that's how Jaden got all of his!" haha.. yup. 
6.  We then had a singalong and had a ton of fun and scared some young civil war kid - well, he was prolly about 15.  And also one of our managers got mad at us for having too much fun.  #suckstosuck

Overall today was a really good day.  And, Emily is leaving next Saturday and I'm basically going to cry when she leaves because I don't have nearly as much fun with anyone else when closing at work.  The end =) AND I DON'T WORK UNTIL TUESDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Adventures in Subtlety: Turkeyville - Post 5 (The 9th-12th)

So, as we all know, I've worked the past six days, and not thaaaat many interesting things have happened.  But, I shall catch you up on the past few and let you in on the curious happenings of the ville of turkeys.
1. I got sent home early on Wednesday, so wooh for making less than $20 hahaha.
2. I got to hang out with Taylor and go see Maleficent and go to Applebees and sit and talk about the birds and the bees with her on the front porch of her sorority house, so that was a good time. OH!! And we went to the park and she got beat up by a fifth grader!!! It was great.  I knew the kid, too.  She's rotten to the core.  But that was a good memory.
3. So at work today I was outside and I looked over and saw this elderly couple coming up the path holding hands and they were giggling like they were lovestruck teenagers and they stopped and he leaned down and kissed her then they kept walking and it was just the cutest thing ever because there was no one else around and they were just so cute and I felt kind of creepy watching them but that's okay and usually I'm opposed to PDA especially from the elderly but now I find it endearing and I haven't used any punctuation so I hope you've read this entire thing with one breath in your mind and that your mind is now tired and needs to take a breath and rest hahahaha.
4. Ok.  So, this guy comes in with his daughter.  She's probably about seven and was really cute.  I glance at his shirt and see that his shirt proudly boasts of Hot's Gentlemen's Club(the one my cousin works at/is the manager of), complete with an outline of a woman on a pole and everything.  With every order, we have to give it a name so that the cashier knows whose order is whose. Rightfully, I named the order "makin it rain." Which Ronna and Emily appreciated. The only potential downside is that if someone pays with a credit card, the name will show up on the receipt.  Thankfully, he didn't.  But I have had some that I could probably lose my job over.  So you just gotta be careful.  So aside from the name thing, it just made me really really sad.  We joke about stripping a lot, but it's actually really serious, and it broke my heart to see a man promoting that kind of degradation in front of his young, impressionable daughter.  Like, would he want to see her up there?  He's saying it's okay...so what's stopping her, when she gets older, from doing that?  He couldn't object, because he thinks it's okay for another man's daughter to do.  On top of that, what kind of mindset is he giving his daughter about the way men view women?  Is she going to grow up thinking women are sexual objects that are only here for men to salivate over?  It just breaks my heart to think about the future of this child.  She should grow up knowing the value and worth she has, that which is of so much more than just her body.  I realize that it's just a t-shirt.  I get that this could be an overreaction. But if you're bold enough to wear something like that on your body, what does that mean about how you feel internally and how you speak and act at home?  Are you raising your little girl to think that she has a purpose and has beauty and intelligence and that her body is a temple?  Or are you raising her so she thinks that all she is in life is a play thing for men?  Every little girl deserves a dad that makes her know how loved she is and should respect her and make sure other men respect her as well.  He oughtta protect her from the bad guys, not feed her to them - or imply that he would.  And even if he does cherish his daughter and love her and make her feel like she has worth, what is he saying about all of those other girls who are daughters?  If he put himself in their fathers' positions, would he approve of their life choices?  And if he didn't, why would he approve of the place as whole to begin with?  It's just a giant, depressing circle that never seems to run into a corner.  Ok.  End rant.
5.  When I went to BP I ran into my little Asian friend, Josh, and caught up with him.  So yay for Asians.  Also, Olivet is still in school until the 18th. haha #suckstosuckforhavingsomanysnowdays

Adventures in subtlety: Turkeyville - Post 4 (the week of June 1-8th)

Soooooo my computer was being dumb this entire week and I've just now regained access to the internet.  Ok!  So! There's quite a few interesting things that have happened this week.  I trust that you've all had an excellent week as well :)
1.  There was a little girl with long ginger hair and her mother had long hair drawn up into a bun.  When they moved past the counters, I could see that they were both wearing long denim skirts.  Pretty sure they're Pentecostals.  #preach
2.  My one coworker's family came in and I contemplated how awkward it would be if I told her her dad was attractive.  I then decided it would be very awkward and didn't do it.
3. During closing Emily Peters walked past saying "so hot in here", so, naturally, Emily Hency and I went on to harmonize "I am gettin' so hot, I'm gonna take my clothes off."  Thus, a hot in herre sing-a-long commenced. It was fabulous.
4. Throughout the day there was an event, and during this event they had some music playing on loop.  This music included somewhere over the rainbow, which is my happy song, so it was great :)
5. So, this is one of my favorites. We were trying to figure out how to spell the word barbecue - hold your laughter - and so a woman who works there, probably around 40, took out her phone to look it up.  Well, as she pulled up the magical interweb, she went to type in the search bar and her most recent search history came up.  As this happened, I looked down to see the words "anal porn."  Yup.
6. An entire ginger family came in.  Need I say more?
7. Emily Peters and Emily Hency and I were having a "say my name" sing off, and I then heard a customer go, "Abby." I turn and was like "Yes?"  He then goes, "You said 'say my name.'" ahahaha props. 
8. A really really really adorable little Asian girl ran behind the counters and went back into the kitchen and I thought about stealing her.  Oops.
9. There was a gentleman who looked to be about 60-70 and he looked EXACTLY like what Noah Calhoun(Notebook RyGos) would look like in the future.  I debated about telling him, but figured I shouldn't. Ya know, gentrophilia and all. But really though.  Just like him - bearded version. Ugh.
10.  After I told my friend Morgan about it, she shared in my love for him and she informed me that he HAS A BAND that's just super underground and everything and it's called Dead Man's Bones and it's pretty much just another reason to love him.
11. A customer had a credit card that was entirely the American flag. #merica
12. My manager told me I'd be a great Walmart greeter because of how friendly I am when a person enters the building hahahaha.  So that was fun.
13. Apparently my bosses are firm believers in the supernatural.  The swings were swinging in opposite directions for an extended period of time and they all agreed that it must have been grandpa.  So that was fun.
14. Ok, last one.  And this one's fun.  So, there's this one kid I work with - we'll call him Mick for privacy's sake. So Mick since I first met him has always had this flirtacious, smooth, player type persona.  I've generally tried to steer clear of him.  Anyway, so tonight I was working with two 50+ year old women.  This is just being said to show for the record that I was the only female in his general age range which is most likely why he did the actions that he did.  Anyway, wow that's building this up so much more than it's worth, oh well.  Ok, so he was making a togo for someone and he was getting frustrated because he kept ripping bags.  It was quite entertaining so I was joking around with him and we were just being friendly, no big deal.  (This was near the end of the night, btw) But as the night wore on, he was being more and more forthcoming.  I don't mean this to sound self absorbed, because boys don't do this to me haha, but he was paying more attention to me than usual.  At one point I was walking past the window into the kitchen and glanced in and he was standing there.  He then held eye contact with me and then winked.  I was like .... ok? haha.  Soo then later we were passing each other and we made eye contact, and then he looked down at my boobs for a good 2-3 seconds or so - long enough to make it clear to me what he was doing - and then back up at my eyes.  1), I'm wearing our uniform which includes an apron - my boobs are covered up.  2) Excuse me?! After that, I realized I totally should have done Sam's whole stare at his junk and maybe squint a little.  Would have made it so much better. He then continued to taunt me the rest of the night and I felt like I'd been raped.  So, yeah. We'll see how the rest of that goes this summer.  Like I said, I'm sure it was only because I was the girl under the age of 50 and he was bored, but it might provide for a bit of entertainment.... or sexual harassment.  I guess you'll have to stay tuned to find out what happens!